Smile and the World Smiles with You

I want to thank everyone for your nice comments about my blog.  Many times when I am at industry events or with business associates they mention my blog to me.  This is very gratifying and humbling to me.  I'm just a guy with a keyboard and although I have always enjoyed writing I certainly do not profess any expertise or ability above anyone else.  It seems to me more and more that an attitude of gratitude is a great way to, borrowing from Mr. Carnegie, win friends and influence people.  If my weekly posts are helpful and inspirational, as some have said, then that affirmation gives me all the reason I need to keep writing this little post every week

I am privileged to work with people that have as great a passion for my business as I do.  I NEVER take this for granted.  Like most every other business in the world the last several years we have been through some challenging and difficult times.  It has made us question and question again whether we have what it takes to survive in the future.  This is still a work in progress but I am happy to say that we are emerging from the most challenging days our business has experienced in 34 years with a greater resolve and a more focused approach to the future than we've ever had.  Believe me, we still have a lot of work to do and we are by no means past all of the challenges that lie ahead.

What has forever changed as a result of these difficulties, however is our attitude towards the future and how we work each and every day.  We are determined to make every day a great day and in doing so give women more opportunities to feel fabulous.  This is why we come to work each day.  This is why we endure difficulties and celebrate victories.  It is a cause bigger than all of us individually but one that we have committed ourselves to each and every day.  Has it made a difference?  OH YEA!! 

It hasn't diminished the challenges, we are still far from perfect and we certainly haven't solved the world's problems.  We've just made significant strides in the one thing in this world we have control over individually and collectively as a company - our attitudes and the culture we choose to work in every day.  It really has made a difference that I believe is being played out not only within the walls of our office but in every touch point of our business. 

Let me give a quick example.  A few months ago we started answering our phones with an enthusiastic "it's a GREAT DAY at J. Renee'!"  The response from people on the other end of the phone has been enthusiastically positive, to say the least.  In some small way, whether the call is to ask a question about our business, complain about a mistake we may have made or (hopefully) to place an order, we have lightened the mood and made that customer feel better having called us.  We're having fun, they're having fun and we are fulfilling our mission to give women (and men) more opportunities to feel fabulous!

I wonder what small ways you can come up with to do the same thing for your customers would be?  We are thinking of them all the time.  And having a lot of fun doing it. 

Right is Wrong

Ever since I started helping my dad unpack and repack shoes to ship them to customers in our garage - almost 40 years ago - I have heard a saying that we have all heard thousands of times.  The customer is always right.  There's no denying the truth behind that statement or the wisdom to be heeded in hearing it again today.  Even if you know you're right, if your customers don't agree with you you're wrong.  Being wrong in today's marketplace is not good for your financial well being.  It is peculiar then that I see an increasing number of people so focused on being right all the time, even, or should I say especially, at the expense of making sure the other person is wrong.  It's a zero sum game that's getting far too much play - in the midst of an economic environment with enough challenges of its own.

Whatever happened to doing unto others, turning the other cheek and staying humble?  And for goodness sake where has customer service gone?  I think it all boils down to an attitude of "me first" and/or "looking out for number one."  I guess if your goal is to always be right and always be first then you can jump on the bandwagon.  I hear it's lonely at the top, though.

I believe the better answer is to continue to serve others and to help other people meet their needs.  I am convinced that this is the way to live a productive and happy life.  I can tell you first hand it is sorely needed in the business world and the society in general these days.  I find that the novelty and sincerity of it actually attract people and make them want to be your friend and/or to do business with you.  I wish I could come up with a better quote on my own but this is one that cannot be matched or duplicated.  Zig Ziglar said it many, many years ago:

"You can have EVERYTHING in life you want if you are willing to help enough other people get what THEY want."

Marinade on that one a while.  It is simplistic and yet it is very profound.  How might you use it today to positively impact your relationships at home?  At work?  With customers?  With strangers?  It is a line of thinking and a lifestyle worth pursuing and investing in. 

I spent a lot of time in my younger years trying to be right a lot (all the time).  Some of the adjectives that described my attitudes were: paranoia, jealousy, anger, moodiness.  You get the picture.  I want to be very clear that I have not "arrived" yet but where I am striving to get to is putting other people first more often.  On the occasions when I do, here's the adjectives that come to mind: compassion, kindness, selflessness, humility, patience, peace of mind, relaxed.  I like the way that sounds and feels a lot better. 

So, I am trying to devote more and more of my time to being less right and staying aware of opportunities to help and serve other people.  You can choose to stay focused on yourself - but that would be completely wrong. 

Trumping Tragedy

This week was a tough week for me.  A very dear employee, friend and woman left our company.  I wish I could take the blame or try to lay the blame for her departure but I can't.  I wish I could use this as a learning opportunity to evaluate what I did wrong so I can learn from it and do better next time.  Not in this case.  I wish that saying I wasn't going to concern myself with things that are out of my control were as easy to do as it is to say.  No matter what I think or do - no matter what anyone does or thinks, even she is powerless to undo the sad truth of the situation.  She has terminal cancer. 

As we go through life we see and hear many stories that break our hearts.  I don't think I've experienced one this close.  We also see stories that inspire us and make us better people having known about or of the person or situation.  Due to mine and everyone who called her a member of our Remac Family's incredible fortune we have seen both in the same person over the last several months since her diagnosis was confirmed.  My heart has been broken and touched - and my life will be better as a result of going through this situation with her.  I have only had the good fortune of knowing her for 4 years - and I am grateful I had that long.

I started writing the above post the middle of last month - and never finished it.  Since that time our Dear Friend sadly lost her brief struggle against the horrible disease we call cancer.  While we have mourned her loss we rejoice to know her struggles are over and her pain is gone.  The ones who are hurting are those of us she has left behind.  We miss her terribly and try to comfort ourselves knowing she is at rest and at peace.  Even though we don't completely understand it.

No one said life is easy.  We all deal with difficulties of all shapes and sizes.  Some are just daily bumps we need to move past and some are life changing.  With the grace and courage that we saw exhibited in our friend I have resolved to live every day this year in a way that makes others glad that they know me and leaves people, places and things better off than before I encountered them.  I can't recommend this lifestyle change enough.  Perhaps you know someone who elicits these feelings in your life - I hope we all know at least one.  Better yet, why not be that type of person?  Not a day goes by where I don't make mistakes and don't wish I had done things differently but I am determined to overcome those obstacles.  It seems rather minor in light of what some people have to deal with. 

I have more energy, determination and purpose that at any time in my life.  I know that I am much more productive and much more goal driven.  It is exhilarating and it is a lot of work.  I am happier than I have ever been and I am sleeping better than I have for as long as I can remember.  It seems to me I am living the life I was created to live.  Being who I am supposed to be is a great feeling. 

There have been many factors that have gone in to how and why I have arrived at this place.  Not the least of which is the impact that my friend had on my life.  Who, or should I ask how many, will be glad to say that they know you and that you are part of their lives?  That's something worth living for!  Today and every day that we are alive. 

Revolution vs. Resolution

I'll be the first one to admit I am not in to New Year's resolutions.  In fact, I would argue it's almost become a punchline in recent years because everyone jokes about the resolutions they made at the start of the year only to realize by the end of January that they forgot what they resolved to do (with all good intentions) a few short weeks earlier.  As I poke fun I must admit three things about myself that may seem just as silly to you about myself:  First: I am proud to have been born, raised and lived most of my life in the great state of Texas, Second: I AM extremely superstitious and Third: (as we say in Texas) I will be eating me a big ole bowl of black eyed peas for good luck on New Year's Day! 
It's worked pretty well so far and I see no reason to jinx it now!

So although I am not a fan of the New Year's reSolution I think the New Year is a great time to consider what reVolutions need to be made.  What a great contrast can be drawn here just by changing one letter in a word.  Although the difference in spelling and and grammar is minute the difference in meaning is enormous!  Paraphrasing my trusty desk dictionary a resolution is an individual decision meant to change an individuals thinking.  A revolution, by contrast is a radical and pervasive change that impacts society as a whole.  So I ask you, as we sit on the doorstep of 2012, is your intention to make incremental changes in your thoughts and behaviors that might (for a short time) make you feel better about yourself or would you rather do things radically different that dare I say, could change the world and leave an indelible mark? 

Mahatma Gandhi said "we must be the change we want to see."  This is one of those things that is so simple that you have to ask the question "then why are so few people doing anything?"  If we are waiting for others to change our circumstances, our well-being and our world then I suggest 2012 will be just another year where very little does change and we diligently seek to find people and things to blame - all except, of course, ourselves.  What if instead we make 2012 a year where we are the catalysts and we do the work to be the change?  Do you see your future getting brighter and your opportunities coming in to focus?  I sure do.  Let me quickly add a warning sign as you enter the freeway for change and start accelerating to your destinations for 2012:
Warning: Lots of Hard Work Ahead.

The truth is, most people don't like (read are afraid) of change.  The more you try the more resistance you will face.  I challenge you to keep pushing forward and not be dissuaded by nay sayers and so called realists who will tell you all the reasons why what you have set out to change won't work.  It may not be easy but most of the best things in life never are.  I submit the examples of Thomas Edison, Mother Theresa and Anne Frank if you want to use their lives as examples of drawing a road map of success in the most trying of circumstances. 

In closing, my challenge for you is to make 2012 the year of 212.  It's still one of my favorite analogies.  At 211 degrees water is hot.  At 212 water boils.  With boiling water comes steam.  With steam you can power a train.  One extra degree makes all the difference.  I challenge you to find the one extra degree of difference that will make 2012 a REVOLUTIONARY new year!

Thank you for reading my blog this year.  I am humbled and honored that you consider it a good use of your time and I appreciate the great feedback, comments and compliments I have received.  Happy New Year to all of you!

Giving is Receiving

Like most of you, I recall fondly the Christmases and holiday times of my childhood.  I guess I'm getting old and can say it was a lot better and more fun when Christmas wasn't so commercialized and every time you settled down to watch Frosty the Snowman or the Little Drummer Boy on television you weren't accosted by holiday ads from retailers trying to "out sale" their competitors.  I must say, however, I am amused by some of the creative names that companies have come up with to call their sales during this time of year - not!

Over the last few years of definitely the most significant economic crisis of my lifetime I have learned first hand how to budget my time, money and resources in such a way where I can honestly say there are very few things that I don't already have that I really need.  Health?  Check.  Beautiful and wonderful wife?  Check.  Three great kids?  Check.  A business that I love with all of my heart and can't wait to get to every morning (even though it might have been more fun when we were making more money)?  Check!  People that I love to work with and that challenge me to be a better person?  Check.  I could go on but you get the point.  So what was it I was saying I really needed?  How about you?

I don't mean to be ignorant or irresponsible.  I definitely recognize that many people this Holiday are out of work and there is great need all around us that is waiting to be met by those of us who are blessed with so much.  I can never do enough but I must do my part - and so must you.  The holidays are a great time to count our blessings and share our blessings with others and a lot of people do just that.  It's easy to donate time and money to wonderful organizations that help people enjoy the holidays a little bit more.

A couple of years ago my wife and I took our kids on Christmas morning to help feed homeless people a hot prepared meal and to pass out some coats, socks and other daily necessities.  Without the generosity of the church and the volunteers that Christmas morning the people we served would have had no other means to enjoy the food and necessities that were provided that day.  Christmas to them would have been just another day like every other day. 

As we helped to serve the hundreds of people that came through the doors that chilly morning I was struck by the fact that we were practically tripping over the other volunteers that came out that morning.  What a wonderful thing that so many people would give up a few hours of their Christmas morning and early afternoon to help those less fortunate.  I also couldn't help but think as I looked out over the throng of volunteers, I wonder how many of these people will be back here on January 25th, February 25th and every other month of the year?

Like I said, if we allow ourselves to consider how much need there is around us we can easily become overwhelmed and feel as though our minute contributions don't matter.  I'm sure if we're honest a lot of us would have to admit that's what holds us back.  What if, however everyone had that attitude and there was no one to lend a hand?  Thank goodness, that's not the case.  So my challenge to all of you is to do something - anything!  Don't worry about the outcome and don't look for or expect any rewards.  I can't tell you what to do or how to do it but I can promise you this from my own experiences.  When you get outside of yourself in this way it's a little scary - and totally invigorating!

Once you take the first step the ones following get easier as you move along.  By the time you're finished you will be filled with a feeling that I cannot explain but can only recommend.  Along the way, you will see things that will inspire you and things that will break your heart.  Most importantly, you will see that we are all created alike and each of us has a lot more in common than we have things that separate us.  Most importantly, you'll find the greatest gift you can receive on this earth.  The gift of giving.  May you be blessed with a renewed spirit of giving both now in the Holiday Season and throughout the New Year 2012.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Giving Thanks

It's too bad the holidays only come around once a year, although the older I get the less time there is every year between packing up the Christmas decorations to digging out the platter and electric knife to carve up the Thanksgiving turkey.  I love Christmas for all of the nostalgia and memories of my childhood and now living vicariously through my children, although the days of being overjoyed by the magic of all that the Holiday means has waned a bit as they have become teenagers.  I can more clearly see the days when I will be looking forward to welcoming my kids home for Christmas than the times we have shared with them as little ones, which is a little sad I suppose but it certainly makes me value each and every holiday season that much more.

The one thing that I don't like about Christmas is the (over) commercialization and bombardment by retailers trying to eek out their end of year sales on a high note.  As someone directly tied to the retail industry I completely understand it but wish it wasn't so "in your face."  The over development of retail space and retail stores, brick and mortar, or more increasingly online, is another subject for another day.  The other thing I don't like about Christmas is that it seems like Thanksgiving has become almost an afterthought.  Well, I hope I can change your way of thinking here, as I have changed mine in recent years.

There is nothing better than Thanksgiving day and Thanksgiving weekend.  The food, the family, the friends and the day for us all to create a little space to disengage from our hectic schedules.  If there is anything better than a Thanksgiving nap after lunch or dinner in this world, I haven't found it yet.  Those who know me well know my passion for football and Thanksgiving Day my whole life has meant Dallas Cowboys football.  I cannot imagine a last Thursday in November without a Cowboys game.  Each of us have our own things that make the day, the weekend and the season special.  Whatever those things are, I say we embrace them for all their worth this year. 

Life is a funny and precious thing.  We never know what lies around the next corner or stage of life and all we have is right now.  So instead of worrying about yesterday and fretting about tomorrow I say we give enormously grateful thanks for TODAY - which is all any of us are guaranteed.  I am only two years removed from spending Thanksgiving week and the week after in the hospital, unable to eat or drink anything.  It was amongst the lowest points in my life but out of that difficulty was born my intense gratitude for what I am about to enjoy this week.

I am thankful for way too many things to even attempt to list them within this post.  I tell my friends all the time and it is really true - I am the luckiest guy in the world.  My hope for all of us is that we will relish every moment of the day tomorrow - and no, I'm not talking about more cranberry sauce!  Really live in each and every moment and take time to reflect and review how blessed and how fortunate we are to be able to be alive in exciting and challenging times like these.  To be able to create our futures and determine the paths we will follow.  I could go on and on but you get the point.

I could close this post in so many ways but I have chosen to recite a couple of quotes that I think say what I am feeling more eloquently than I ever could.  One is a German philosopher who lived several centuries ago and one is one of the most well known U.S. presidents of the 20th century.

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'Thank You,' that would suffice." -Meister Eckhardt

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Happy Thanksgiving - and "Thank You" for following my posts.

Up and Down

It's easy to focus on all of the negativity around us right now.  In case you feel slighted just turn on the television, pick up a newspaper or surf the Internet.  Apparently you can make a lot of money by telling everyone how terrible they should feel and how horrible the world around them is.  Being a realist I can say that I understand these people have had plenty of ammunition the last few years from which they could load their weapons.  The optimistic side of me hopes to get out of the mire and the muck and to rise above it all and find ways to make myself and everyone around me feel fabulous each and every day.  It may take a little more work these days to stay up than it does to keep the status quo but it also makes you in to a person that more people will want to associate with, be friends with and most importantly do business with. 

I have a friend that I don't do business with directly but whom I get to see and talk with on a fairly regular basis.  I'll call her Mary.  Mary is the type of person that everyone loves to be around.  Ask Mary a rote question such as "how are you," "how are things" or "what's going on" and you're going to get back a list of (very enthusiastic) adjectives such as "FANTASTIC!"  "AMAZING!" "INCREDIBLE!" or "AWESOME!"  I can be in the midst of a downer of a day and have a 2 minute chat with Mary and walk away with a smile on my face and a determination and dedication to, as Zig Ziglar says, be a "Good Finder."  Don't you just love people like Mary? 

So, I wonder, has Mary always acted this way, no matter what?  More importantly, how does she stay up even when everyone and everything else seems to be down?  Finally, what things can I learn and emulate from her?  So in a recent conversation I asked.  In a nutshell she told me "I just decided to be light in a world of darkness."  Sure, she has bad days.  Sure, she gets disappointed, let down and all the other bad stuff we all deal with.  She just has a way of responding to life and not reacting to it.  She also told me "it takes no more effort to be up than it does to stay down and so my focus is on helping others stay up no matter what is going on around them."  I love that. 

Think about that for a few minutes.  Really.  What if, instead of reacting every time we got upset, disappointed, lied to, cut off in traffic, whatever we decided to respond in a way that was different than most people react?  How much better and more productive would your day be?  How much better would it be for the people you work with, work for, interact with and (gulp) live with?  I have to think it would be noticeable, to say the least.  I have to think that like Mary people would be positively impacted and that their positive attitudes towards you would be reflected back in a way that would create a feeling of positive momentum inside yourself that would be hard to contain.  Why, it almost sounds easy, doesn't it?!  It sure sounds like more fun than living on the edge and reacting to all the negativity in our world.  Then why don't we (I) do it? 

This is not a question of ability or skill.  It's a question of intentions.  You can decide you don't want to do it and remain status quo like most of the other people around you OR you can decide that you are going to be different in a way that no matter how those around you respond makes you feel better, act better and perform better.  Indeed these are the people that are making things happen and not sitting still just because of what is happening in Washington, Wall Street or Main Street.  You could say they march to a different beat.  And they are having a lot more fun doing it.

So my challenge to myself and to you is to make a decision.  Will you stay up and respond to life from a mindset of making yourself and your world a better place?  Or will you continue to react to the (mostly) negative things going on around you?  I hope after you make your decision I can shake your hand and share your happiness from the top of the hill!