Unspeakable

A lot of times I sit down to write this weekly post and the content just kind of flows.  I have a general idea what I'm going to discuss and then I get a little inspired and the rest just kind of happens.  This week I feel compelled to cover the unspeakable events from last week in Newtown, Connecticut, although I have never sat down to write a post with less of an idea what to say than I am today.

I am also asking myself why write about this?  What value is there in discussing a deeply emotional and personal matter?  How does it apply to my business associates, customers and contemporaries within and outside my industry?  The answer is, at least at this moment, I have no idea.  Maybe it's just therapy for me to express my shock and horror.  I hope reading these words provide some ideas or maybe a little therapy for you.

I am the father of three teenage kids.  I cannot imagine ever having to go through a similar tragedy with one of my kids.  Unfortunately, I know many that have and I think that is one of those situations that you just don't know how to deal with it until you live through it.  The human spirit is an amazing thing.  Like any other parent and like some teachers and administrators did last week, I would sacrifice my life for any one of my kids without a second thought.  It's human nature.  We look out for those who cannot look out for themselves.  Especially those we love.

There is a hard question that we need to know the answer to.  The frustrating part is in a situation like this the question of WHY? doesn't have an answer.  News and Social Media try to dig and find clues in to the lifestyles and personalities of assailants in these situations to see if we can form clues as to what could lead them to such heinous conclusions.  The more we find out, the less sense it makes.  And the angrier we get because someone has to get the blame. 

Politicians, talking heads and people at the water color will now debate how to prevent these types of tragedies in the future.  As our president deftly pointed out in his emotional address to the country, we have had to deal with far too many of these types of tragedies is recent years.  All of us our interested in being part of the solution and many of us have or will weigh in on our stance regarding some of the issues that must be addressed such as gun control.

I have no interest in taking up such debate here.  My interest is much more foundational and based upon principles that have been around as long as man has inhabited the earth.  We have to reach out to others - especially those who are hurting - and show them we care.  It's not easy.  It's not convenient.  It's not comfortable.  It is paramount to helping not only those who are hurting but also to stop hurting others who are helpless. 

These issues could be discussed for far longer and in far more detail than I can go in to in a few short paragraphs.  I really don't know how to begin or end this topic.  There are many more questions than answers.  Arguments than resolutions.  Problems than solutions.

I do know that as we prepare to celebrate Christmas and a New Year that we must aspire to be better to each other for the benefit of our schools, our states and our country.  It's simplistic and perhaps a bit trite but to get back to basics I think Lennon and McCartney had it right:
                                                                       All you need is love
                                                                       Love is all you need 
And as Old Ebeneezer said when realizing the error of his ways: God Bless us all!
                                                            

The first Personal Mission Statement

Last week I discussed the Scout Law.  Certainly a list of ideals that we wish every American would follow more judiciously.  Our country would be a much better place to live if we all did.  To wit and in review: A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Thrifty, Cheerful, Brave, Clean and Reverent. Characteristics we could all stand to develop in the New Year.

This week, let's focus on the Scout Oath: On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.  I challenge you to find a better personal mission statement that has more compelling desired outcomes than that one in only a couple of sentences. 

As I said last week, despite the negativity that has surrounded the BSA in the press the last several months I am a weekly participant in a Boy Scout troop as the parent of a Scout, a Merit Badge counselor and a camp out assistant.  My point is I have a bird's eye view of what it means to be a Boy Scout.  My only regret is I wish I would have participated when I was a teenager. 

For example, this fall I taught a merit badge class to a group of primarily 12 and 13 year old boys.  The class was on personal management.  I guided boys through topics and exercises on setting budgets, investing money, borrowing money and time management.  Man, I wish I would have had someone spend time with me learning all that these boys learned when I was their age.  As I told them weekly, they are life skills that they can use even when they get to be an old guy like me. 

It's about that time of year when we all take stock of our accomplishments over the past year.  Then we turn our attention to those things we wish to tackle in the New Year.  I have a list of things this year that is ambitious, inspiring and makes me a little uncomfortable - on purpose.  I know that even if I only accomplish a portion of what I intend to do that 2013 will be a great year.  I can't wait to get started.

Before I do, though I want to take time to work the Scout Oath in to my consciousness so that while I am attempting to do all that I have set out to do that I do it in a way that feels right.  Let's see, on my honor, do my best, my God, my Country, obey 12 tenants of Scout Law, help other people, physically strong, mentally awake, morally straight.  Yep, that should do just fine.

Last year the Boy Scouts celebrated their 100th anniversary.  I may not be the smartest guy to ever go to a Boy Scout meeting but even I can figure out that things of value always last.  Times have changed and our culture presents both tremendous opportunities and challenges, even for organizations like the BSA.  Their message has never changed.  And it is just as relevant for all of us today and every day in the New Year as it was 100 years ago.  Happy Scouting!

I wish I was a Boy Scout

I have a teenage son who has spent the last three years in the Boy Scout program.  This program has not gotten much press lately that isn't bad.  Frankly, I think that's a shame.  I had no affinity for Scouts before 2009.  Never spent a day in my life doing it.  If not for the urging of my wife (like most of the good decisions in my life) I would have never gotten myself or my son involved.  Now I am more enthusiastic about it than my son is.  I go on camp outs, I teach merit badge classes, I volunteer whenever and however I can.  I can't get enough.

One of my passions in life is teaching and leading young men to learn life skills.  I have found my sweet spot with the Boy Scouts.  I also teach a group of 7th grade boys in a Sunday School class at church every week.  There are striking similarities between the two.  Most of all I love learning from them and being able to share with them the few small nuggets of wisdom I might have learned over the years.  Mostly earned by my own stupidity, I might add.  The phrase "do as I say, not as I do" comes to mind. 

I want to spend the next two weeks digesting two of the pillars of the Scouting program.  The Scout Law this week and the Scout oath next week.  I think there are life, business, personal and who knows what other areas of our lives that could benefit from reading and studying these "mission statements."

A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Thrifty, Cheerful, Brave, Clean and Reverent. 

I was tempted to take each characteristic and spent a week on it but thought I lose people somewhere between courteous and kind.  Even if you just take each characteristic at face value it's not a bad way to live your life.  Instead of spending the next several weeks reading my deeper thoughts about each one I would challenge you to reflect upon these one by one and ask yourself how they apply to you personally, professionally and ideologically.  I am convinced there is some gold to be mined here.

How much would your personal relationships improve from working on being courteous, kind and cheerful?  Wouldn't your customers and stakeholders be more inclined to think of you more positively (and give you more business) if you were trustworthy, helpful and thrifty?  Wouldn't you like to be known as a person who is loyal, brave and reverent.

I think you get the picture.  I think the Scouts have gotten it for a long time.  These characteristics and values don't change with the economy, the political parties or the latest technology.  Tried and true these values make us all a better nation.  God bless the USA and God bless the BSA. 

A week for Thanks

Call me sentimental and trite.  Skip over this one if you choose, however I think this year is as good a time as any to pause and give thanks for the blessings I have, the freedoms I enjoy and the ability I have to make a difference in the lives of others. 

I am blessed with a wonderful family both at home and at work.  I am thankful that I can truly say I work with people that I can call family.  It is a wonderful way to come to work every morning, to work hard every day and to look back on every evening.  I wish some of my friends who are unhappy in their jobs could experience what I get to experience every day.  I am blessed with good health.  In the last year I have lost a significant amount of weight and maintained a healthy lifestyle to keep the weight off.  Three years ago this week I spent 12 days in the hospital waiting to have surgery.  I am glad that this year I don't have to drink only juice and water on Thanksgiving but rather get to enjoy my wife's wonderful meal. 

I am thankful to live in a country where I have the freedom to speak, vote, pray and live any way I choose without fear of persecution or retribution.  I have friends all over the world and while there are many wonderful places to visit I cannot imagine living anywhere else.  Even though we are divided on many issues in this country I believe that through adversity we have and will continue to become stronger.  I am grateful for those who have given their lives for the freedoms I enjoy and do not take for granted not minimize the sacrifices of those who have given more than I ever could to enjoy more than I will ever deserve. 

I am grateful for the small impact I can make every day in a few lives that I come across.  I do not see myself as anything bigger than I am but I do enjoy the opportunity to lead and teach others and hope I can add value to each situation and personal encounter I am involved in by giving a little of myself.  The more I give of myself the more enjoyment I continue to gain out of life.  I don't say this with pride or self-promotion but rather as one who took too long to learn this lesson and wishes I would have gotten to this point in my life much sooner. 

So on this week of Thanksgiving, like most of you I am sure, I am extremely grateful for all of the things I take for granted throughout the year.  I am resolved to not just pause to give thanks this week but to strive to have an attitude of gratitude that guides me throughout the year.  If we would all embrace that mindset I suspect that we would have no choice but to turn every week in to Thanksgiving week.  Because if for no other reason one week would not be enough time to give thanks for the abundance we have to enjoy. 

What's the Plan?

Raise your hand if you feel like summer just ended and like me you're wondering how in the world we are celebrating Thanksgiving next week?  I see you all out there.  I don't know where the fall goes but the older I get the shorter they get.  In seemingly a few days we will all be celebrating the New Year of 2013.  Ok, again, just me or wasn't Y2K just a couple of years ago?  Ah, but I digress.

This time of year brings out many thoughts and emotions - mostly good - surrounding a time to celebrate family and friends, reflect on the year's accomplishments and ponder what changes are needed in the New Year.  For a business owner like myself, it's time to take a significant amount of time to evaluate budgets, expenses, cash flows and sales plans and try to project out my company's goals and objectives. 

Some of you may be rolling your eyes at this point thinking this sounds like a business text book.  Maybe so, but if I were you I would stop doing that and stop rolling the dice with your future while you're at it.  In case you haven't noticed we live in some rather trying times.  Many things that we all used to count on like clock work are either gone or have dramatically changed and I suspect that most of your businesses have changed dramatically in the last 5 years, if not the last 5 months. 

My point?  If you don't have a plan, then you don't have a prayer.  I'm serious.  It used to be that with hard work and determination you could accomplish almost anything.  My message today is you better have a serious road map that you're trying to navigate with or you are going to be lost and hard to find.  Especially for your customers.  I am not here to suggest any particular method or system but I am suggesting that you do something to make sure that every day you have a set of goals and objectives that you're trying to achieve in order to increase your unique value proposition in your marketplace.  I don't care if you're a self-employed entrepreneur or the president of a Fortune 500 company it is more true today than it's ever been - if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Don't you admire people who are able to do a seemingly incredible amount of work, always seem to be moving up no matter what the economy is doing and who are always able to take on more and stop to lend a hand or a kind word?  I suggest to you that these people have an incredible set of goals they are working for and towards every day.  They don't have any more time than you and I do, they just make better use of their time and know what they need to do every hour of every day - and what they need to not do to distract them from reaching their goals.

So as you prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving next week with family and friends let me suggest you take some time alone to jot down some ideas and let them baste with the turkey.  Hopefully by the time the left overs have all been eaten up and the Holiday season is in full swing, you will be too!

Better Together

Last weekend I had a chance to do one of those things I talk about a lot.  I set aside my schedule for the greater good.  Here in Dallas, where the Susan G. Komen for the Cure organization is headquartered there is a three day walk held every year to raise awareness and money to fight the  horrible disease that has affected us all - breast cancer.  Through contacts with a local woman who I'll affectionately call CC our company was motivated to get involved in the "3 Day" as it's called here by setting up a cheering station for the hundreds of people participating.  More about that shortly.

Saturday was one of those November days you can only get in Dallas.  Cloudless, sunny and about 85 degrees.  Perfect weather for an afternoon outside to facilitate the impromptu tailgate party we threw to coincide with our cheering station.  Not so perfect weather if you are walking 20 miles for the second day in a row with another 20 staring at you for Sunday.  My family, associates and new friends we met by partnering up with another group of CC's friends and supporters had a great time.  Some of the walkers looked a little worn out, frankly as we were stationed around mile 16. 

I got to see some old friends I knew that were participating and I got to encourage hundreds of people who were an encouragement to me.  It was hard to ignore the t-shirts, pins and other paraphernalia that indicated who or whom the people were doing the walk for.  Some who had previously lost the fight and some who continue to battle on.  That was the sobering part and the part that caused me to introspectively consider what a great event I was witnessing and getting to participate in, even if only in a very small way. 

It got me thinking how much good we can all do if we set aside our differences and focus on the big picture and the things that matter most.  I happened to have on a shirt representing my college alma mater - which drew some cheers and a few jeers from the passers by.  There was every race imaginable participating and in attendance with our group.  Different political, religious and socio-economic groups, no doubt.  All in one place.  All in the name of making a difference for us all. 

This week we elected and re-elected those who will govern us for the next several years.  From a political and ideological standpoint our country is more divided than at any time in her history.  And yet we all share many of the same desires, hopes and dreams.  None of us will ever forget 9/11.  Out of the horror and tragedy of that event was the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed in my life.  Sadly, it only lasted a few short weeks.  And those days have long since ended.

For a few brief weeks we all set aside our differences.  We realized that in the end we are all one people, one land and one nation under God.  I long for those days when we all will work together as one for the greater good of our friends and neighbors, despite our differences.  Last weekend I got a small glimpse of it and realized again that we are Better Together. 

Find Your Happy Place

As I have posted several times, we don't have to look too hard to find bad news.  I'm sorry to say it but much of the news media exists on their ability to bring to us the most shocking, negative and heartbreaking stories they can find.  People's reputations and privacy go out the window if there is a story that can be told.  I continue to try very hard to stay up in a very down world.  It's not always easy but it's always rewarding and a lot more fun.

Monday this week I did something I love to do but rarely find time for at this stage of my life.  I took most of the day off and played golf.  It was a perfect day for at least 5 reasons I can think of:
1) I love to play golf
2) I was able to play golf and support a very worthwhile charity
3) It was a spectacular 65 and sunny day in Dallas - with no wind
4) I got to spend time with my dad outside of work
5) I actually played pretty darn well for a guy who only plays 4-5 times a year!

Sure, I could have made an excuse why I couldn't go and I could have stayed at work with my "nose to the grindstone" but look at that list.  Look at all the good I was able to do with an investment of one day and a few bucks to help benefit others.  That's pretty great, huh?

It took some planning, it took an investment of time and money, it took some sacrifices but guess what?  It was worth 100 times more than what it cost - check that, 10,000 times!  I am a better person because of it and I hope that everyone I come in contact with notices the difference in me too and not just because of my sunburned forehead.  Are you like me where sometimes you plan or sign up to do something and when the time comes you are thinking to yourself "why did I do that?  I have at least 100 other things that are more important."  Then out of duty or necessity you do it anyway and you end up being so grateful that you made yourself do something different?  I love that.

What a great lesson to (re)learn and to use to remind myself that sometimes it's okay to veer off from my daily routine and throw responsibilities to the side in order to do something just for me!  Don't get me wrong, the end result is not that I am a self-indulgent buffoon who thinks the world revolves around me.  To the contrary, the result is I am a better boss, co-worker, husband and father.  It's a self-reinforcing loop.  The better I feel about myself, the better I feel about my roles in my life.  The better I feel in my roles the more effective and efficient I am at performing them.  And so on....

So I would challenge you this week to think about what you need to do to create some time to invest in yourself?  What hobby, activity or appointment do you need to make to put yourself back on track and make you a better person - a person that gets attention from others for the right reasons?  Maybe you just need an hour of idle time to reflect and recharge.  Or maybe you need to make some wide-sweeping changes that require a significant investment of time and money.

Whatever is needed get started now.  You can think of 100 reasons why you can't but there is at least one incredible reason why you must.  Because everyone is counting on you.  There's some good news for you to take with you as you go about your business.